Psalm 139:1-6; 23-24 (MSG) God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand. I’m an open book to You; even from a distance, You know what I’m thinking. You know when I leave and when I get back; I’m never out of Your sight. You know everything I’m going to say before I start the first sentence. I look behind me and You’re there, then up ahead and You’re there, too – Your reassuring presence, coming and going. This is too much, too wonderful – I can’t take it all in!…Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross- examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I’m about; See for Yourself whether I’ve done anything wrong – then guide me on the road to eternal life.
Psalm 139:1-6; 23-24 (NKJV) O Lord, You have searched me and known me. 2 You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off. 3 You comprehend my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways. 4 For there is not a word on my tongue, but behold, O Lord, You know it altogether. 5 You have hedged me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is high, I cannot attain it…Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; 24 And see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Observation
“Search me, O God…know my heart…know my anxieties.” This is a cry for an incredibly deep and transparent intimacy, one that is willing to risk rejection for the possibility of the relationship that will hopefully develop. This is the heart cry of true revival, the kind that is seeded into the heart of an individual who has allowed God full access, trusting in His love and mercy, confident in His grace to cover every failure, every “wicked way” and still remain faithful to lead him/her into “the way everlasting.”
This is the God Who sent Jesus to the Cross to confirm that we can trust in His love and faithfulness even when our rebellious wicked ways, our faithless anxieties, our shameful failures are fully exposed. This is the God Who made a way for us to confidently come to Him in our hopeless sin-stained state and, not only become clean, but become His very own children. This is the God Who seeks us out in our darkest places to redeem and restore us when we don’t deserve any of it. Why is it so hard to bare our hearts and souls to such a God as this?
Impact on Me
I find it hard sometimes to bare my soul to God and admit that I messed up again. I don’t believe it is because I think God won’t receive and forgive me. I am just plain embarrassed and shamed for my failure. “I’m an open book to You; even from a distance, You know what I’m thinking.” This psalm reminds me that He knows before I sin, when I sin and even the motive behind my sin – and still loves me. My confession will not be news to Him, so why hesitate or be shamed to repent?
The path of my life is littered with the squashed pride, sins and failures that have been submitted to, dealt with by the Holy Spirit, and left powerless on the road when I admit and repent for them. I am just so amazed that I continue to find another pocket of pride, another judgmental thought/word, another graceless act that need to be dealt with as I go forward. However, I am assured that my fickle and rebellious humanity can still refuge in His mercy. So, I expect I will continue to leave squashed bits along the way as He “guide(s) me on the road to eternal life.”
Prayer
Merciful, Loving, All-Knowing Father, so glad You also are sooo patient and forgiving with me. We have been on a journey this far, but I ask You now to search my heart again – let’s find it all, every wicked way – and deal with every thing we find by Your Holy Spirit working in and with me. I want to move ever closer to You, emptying my fleshly pockets as I do. I want people I meet to come to know You because they meet You in me. Make it so, in Jesus’ name.
Pressing On In His Footsteps 