Category: Published

On Help Me With My Doubts

John 9:17-27 MSG  A man out of the crowd answered, “Teacher, I brought my mute son, made speechless by a demon, to you. Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth, grinds his teeth, and goes stiff as a board. I told your disciples, hoping they could deliver him, but they couldn’t.”

19-20 Jesus said, “What a generation! No sense of God! How many times do I have to go over these things? How much longer do I have to put up with this? Bring the boy here.” They brought him. When the demon saw Jesus, it threw the boy into a seizure, causing him to writhe on the ground and foam at the mouth.

21-22 He asked the boy’s father, “How long has this been going on?”

“Ever since he was a little boy. Many times it pitches him into fire or the river to do away with him. If you can do anything, do it. Have a heart and help us!”

23 Jesus said, “If? There are no ‘ifs’ among believers. Anything can happen.”

24 No sooner were the words out of his mouth than the father cried, “Then I believe. Help me with my doubts!”

25-27 Seeing that the crowd was forming fast, Jesus gave the vile spirit its marching orders: “Dumb and deaf spirit, I command you—Out of him, and stay out!” Screaming, and with much thrashing about, it left. The boy was pale as a corpse, so people started saying, “He’s dead.” But Jesus, taking his hand, raised him. The boy stood up.

Observation

This father came to Jesus out of desperation, hoping against hope that Jesus could heal and deliver his son.  We don’t know how old the son was or how many years the parents had watched their son suffer, but we can hear the desperation in his reply (“help my unbelief”).  I am sure he had tried everything else available before resorting to searching out this unconventional itinerant rabbi. 

I am reminded of the woman with the issue of blood who had become impoverished and desperate in searching out healing until she broke the rules to find her answer in touching only the hem of Jesus’ garment.  What about Jairus, a ruler of the synagogue, whose daughter was dying while Jesus delayed to engage this unclean woman who dared to appear in public? (Mark 5:21-43 NIV)   Desperation drove them to extreme measures, moving outside the acceptable cultural and safe box, to believe for what seems impossible.   In doing so, they found that nothing is impossible with God.

Impact on Me

I don’t want to wait until I am desperate to take my needs to Jesus.  However, I find that I sometimes get caught up in the urgency of a situation and immediately set out to do everything in my own power to fix things.  At some point, I am arrested by my overwhelming inadequacy to effectively fix much on my own.  Some things are just not humanly fixable.   

My only daughter was in a car accident at 15 that resulted in a broken back when she was thrown from the car which then rolled over her.   I am so grateful for all those medical professionals did to bring healing, but ultimately I came to understand that the extent of her healing was in God’s hands.  So many times we cried out, “we believe; help our unbelief,” as we received bad news from the doctors about how her life would be limited.   Then God would surprise them with impossible healing to take her past those limits.  We saw many miracles along the way – spiritually, physically and financially – that changed our understanding about God’s possibilities.

You would think that an experience like that would prevent me from turning to my own devices in crisis, but I am so very human and forgetful.  So, when I find myself trying to fix things on my own, I repent again for trusting first in my own ability, strength, wisdom instead of the Holy Spirit’s, bow in prayer and ask Jesus for His solution, His power to flow, His plan for how I can assist Him.  Never discount the power of prayer on behalf of yourself and others.  Your prayer may give others the courage and wisdom, like this father, woman and ruler, to put their lives and the lives of their loved ones into His hands and care.

Prayer

Lord, I put my faith in You, Faithful One, Gracious God, Loving Father, the One Who Sees All.  Lord, I believe; help my dispel my doubts with Your perfect peace when crisis and fear ramp up the urgency and tempt me to run off on my own to fix what only You can fix.  Give me the courage to allow You to pull me aside for time with You so I can be comforted, encouraged, listening to Your plan and my part in it.  Remind me that prayer is powerful, You have defeated our Enemy, and that Your Holy Spirit is at work 24/7 to bring about Your will and purpose in all circumstances.  Make it so, in Jesus’ name.

On Human Nature

Matthew 26:36-39, 41 (Phillips). Then Jesus came with the disciples to a place called Gethsemane and said to them, “Sit down here while I go over there and pray.” Then he took with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee and began to be in terrible distress and misery. “My heart is nearly breaking,” he told them, “stay here and keep watch with me.” Then he walked on a little way and fell on his face and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible let this cup pass from me—yet it must not be what I want, but what you want…Watch and pray, all of you, that you may not have to face temptation. Your spirit is willing, but human nature is weak.”

Observation

This passage always reminds me that Jesus was fully a man of flesh while also fully God. I don’t believe it was the God nature in Him that asked, “My Father, if it is possible let this cup pass from me,” nor was it the human nature that insisted, “yet it must not be what I want, but what you want.”  He experienced first-hand the life-long struggle of our souls – choosing between the insistent selfish, my-way-or-highway demands of our human nature (control, fulfillment, recognition, pleasure, survival, significance before Men) and the selfless urgings of the Spirit (submission, self-sacrifice, obedience, trusting in God regardless of the circumstances, joy, peace, significance before God).  He never sinned, so He always made the right choices when temptation arose. He knew we would not and, so He endured to drink the cup that provided redemption for us.

Impact on Me

“Watch and pray, all of you, that you may not have to face temptation. Your spirit is willing, but human nature is weak.”  I am so grateful for repentance and forgiveness, for the right and privilege to be in Christ redeemed!  I am also grateful that these do not expire or have a lifetime limit on number of uses or duration.  Jesus understands me because He experienced life being tempted as I am tempted, choosing between right and wrong, selfless and selfish, pleasure and pain, sacrifice and survival, being faithful or faithless. He knew that there would be times when my human nature won the argument, when I would rationalize that I have human rights that supersede His or that the Spirit’s request was unreasonable, unsafe or impossible for me to do. 

So, He chose to drink a cup of sacrifice, suffering, sorrow and love for me so I am able to:

  • choose to be in Christ, submitted to His will and purpose,
  • recognize and confess my failings and my weakness knowing I will not be rejected,
  • choose to sincerely return and repent knowing I will receive grace and be reconciled to Him again, and
  • have the opportunity to make a better choice the next time the temptation presents itself.

Each time I do this, my soul learns the wisdom of letting the Spirit win the argument about what to do rather than my selfish human nature, and the joy of submitting my will to His. Hopefully, I will choose to watch and pray so I will hear, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

Prayer

Lord God, what a giver You are – wise, loving, beautiful in Your holiness and faithfulness.  I pray that Your Holy Spirit will work within me to make me wise enough to submit my wants and ways to Your will, just as Jesus did in the Garden.  His faithfulness to be that sacrifice gave us the right to be again in Your Presence, even become Your children, restoring Your original purpose for our relationship.  May I watch and pray so that I will hear on that day that I fulfilled Your will and purpose in my life.  Make it so!  In Jesus’ name.

On What To Do In Desperate Times

Habakkuk 3:17-19 NLT  Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vines; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, 18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord!  I will be joyful in the God of my salvation!  19 The Sovereign Lord is my strength!  He makes me as surefooted as a deer, able to tread upon the heights.

Observation

Habakkuk was a prophet during the rise of Babylon as a world power, a contemporary of the prophets Nahum and Jeremiah.  Habakkuk lifts up a lament, conducting a dialogue with God regarding injustice and how God was not living up to expectations based on their interpretation of His promises and their human understanding of God’s nature.  Habakkuk was crying out, “God, what are You thinking?!  How long will You tolerate injustice, allowing evil to triumph and the innocent to be oppressed?  I thought You were a good God, a God of justice.  I don’t understand!!  Why don’t You do something about it NOW??”  Haven’t we all asked these questions at some time or other?

King David frequently lamented about God’s seeming hesitance to step in to turn the world right side up, making things right and just (from his perspective – see Psalms).  Nonetheless, David after venting always returned to “but yet I will praise” in the end.  This passage above is the final word from Habakkuk – regardless of what I don’t understand, or what I experience, or what I may face, “yet I will rejoice in the Lord!  I will be joyful in the God of my salvation!”  We may not understand how current events fit into God’s plan – why the suffering, why the injustice, why evil seems to triumph – but like David and Habakkuk, we can have confidence in God’s wisdom, power, justice, timing and ultimate plan for redeeming humankind.

Impact on Me

I confess that I have lamented before God – so confused about why I was where I was experiencing circumstances that were not fair, just, blessed or earned – from my perspective at least.  I want to understand the WHY, be able to reason out the purpose, see the light at the end of the tunnel and be able to discern how God is planning to turn around for good what is meant for evil.  Then, I remember the Cross.  If I had been standing with the disciples watching Jesus die a public, shameful, unimaginable death, would I have despaired?  Would I have questioned if He was Messiah?  Would I have lamented before God over my expectations that He was not meeting? 

The Cross is the pivot point of history, the event that provided us a choice and changed eternity for us all.  If I was there, I am sure I would have cried out for another way because the Cross would seem so unjust a punishment for an innocent victim.  And yet, where would I be without that sacrifice.  The Cross reminds me to trust in God to deliver ultimate justice in His time and His way.  The Babylonian Empire was eventually overthrown by another empire builder who was subsequently overthrown by another.  The only kingdom that will last forever is the Kingdom of God.

Ultimately, I want to be like David and Habakkuk.  After my whining, complaining, discouraging prayer/dialogue, I want to remember to rejoice in the fact that:

  • Because God has proven over and over that He is good, He is just, and His timing is perfect, I can set aside my angst and trust in Him during desperate times;
  • God even gives me the privilege of listening to me – much less the beautiful free gift of salvation and adoption as His child;
  • I have hindsight on the Cross the disciples did not have because of Jesus’ resurrection, so things are not always as bad as they look – be on the lookout for opportunities to represent Him in all circumstances;
  • I have His Word to keep in my heart to sustain and remind me that I am not alone and not rejected because of my human response to what happens in this world; and
  • In Christ, I have the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit to give me strength to endure all that comes and the wisdom to trust in God regardless of circumstances.

“The Sovereign Lord is my strength!  He makes me as surefooted as a deer, able to tread upon the heights.”

Prayer

Lord God, Creator, Redeemer, All-Just, King of all kings, I praise You and rejoice in Your justice, mercy and grace.  Help me to let go of my need to understand, my desire to control/fix what is not mine to fix and trust in You and Your plan even when circumstances endeavor to discourage and cause doubt.  May I humbly walk in the footsteps You place before me to be what You need me to be and do what You need me to do in the moment You need me to do so.  Make it so, in Jesus’ name.

On Trusting in God’s Timing

Amos 5:13-15 (MSG)  Justice is a lost cause. Evil is epidemic.  Decent people throw up their hands.  Protest and rebuke are useless, a waste of breath.  14   Seek good and not evil—and live!  You talk about God, the God-of-the-Angel-Armies, being your best friend.  Well, live like it, and maybe it will happen.  15  Hate evil and love good, then work it out in the public square.  Maybe God, the God-of-the-Angel-Armies, will notice your remnant and be gracious. 

This dire passage caused me to revisit an entry in my journal from a few years ago on another prophecy regarding how injustice seems to triumph (see below). Even when we feel like the situation is hopeless, we are being overwhelmed by evil and injustice, and our efforts are fruitless, we must always remember that we serve the Living God, the God Who answers, the Eternal, All-Knowing, the God for Whom nothing is impossible, this God-of-Angel-Armies Who cannot be defeated.   I also must remind myself that the Enemy is already defeated by Jesus’ sacrifice on the Cross and injustice, evil and all of their companions are doomed in that same defeat – suddenly in God’s timing.

Isaiah 30:12-14 (MSG)  Therefore, The Holy of Israel says this: “Because you scorn this Message, preferring to live by injustice and shape your lives on lies, this perverse way of life will be like a towering, badly built wall that slowly, slowly tilts and shifts, and then one day, without warning, collapses — smashed to bits like a piece of pottery, smashed beyond recognition or repair, useless, a pile of debris to be swept up and thrown in the trash.” 

EXAMINE:  People make up every society. We forget that people are people, whether in 1000 BC or 2000 AD.  There are always people who live in a way that pleases God and others who seek only to please themselves and the culture in which they live.  Because we only have a perspective limited by our mere decades of life, we often wonder why God does not move more quickly. 

Sometimes it seems that the wall is not tilting and shifting because the movement is imperceptible in our short lifespan.  We also are limited in experiencing the collapses that have come over the millennia, such as the revivals that completely turned a society right side up, the revolutions that have overthrown unjust rulers, and the hard-fought social reforms that have eventually succeeded against entrenched power and traditions. There is no way to explain with words the history leading up to those powerful events; you have to live them. 

APPLY:  I have experienced miracles that cannot be explained with words – miracles of salvation, provision, healing and restoration.  There is nothing that compares to being in the midst of the power of God working, impacting your situation, making possible what is impossible, demonstrating that His eyes and attention are on you, filling you with a joy and peace that is immeasurable. 

These kinds of experiences fill me with hope for the next impossible challenge, the next perpetration of injustice, the next onslaught of evil.  They also cause me to recognize that it is not what talents, abilities, resources experience or seniority I bring to the table that matter; it is only faith, my willingness to be used and obedience to His instructions, my absolute trust in His timing, His Word that matter.  His success does not depend on me, but mine entirely depends on Him. 

Isaiah 55:8-11 MSG “I don’t think the way you think. The way you work isn’t the way I work.” God’s Decree. “For as the sky soars high above earth, so the way I work surpasses the way you work, and the way I think is beyond the way you think. Just as rain and snow descend from the skies and don’t go back until they’ve watered the earth, doing their work of making things grow and blossom, producing seed for farmers and food for the hungry, so will the words that come out of my mouth not come back empty-handed. They’ll do the work I sent them to do, they’ll complete the assignment I gave them.

DEVOTE:  Father God, may I always keep faith in Your timing, knowing that You are timeless and eternal and my insight is so limited because it is rooted in this moment. Your Word will not return void, but fulfill the purpose for which You intend. May I never lose hope that You are faithful so I will, without questioning, fulfill Your Word when the time is right and most profitable to Your Kingdom purposes.  Romans 15:13 (JBP) “May the God of hope fill you with joy and peace in your faith, that by the power of the Holy Spirit, your whole life and outlook may be radiant with hope.”. Let me know that the wall will fall when You are ready.  In Jesus’ name, I pray. 

On a Life of Substance & Purpose

Ecclesiastes 1:1-3, 12-14 MSG Smoke, nothing but smoke. [That’s what the Quester says.] There’s nothing to anything—it’s all smoke. What’s there to show for a lifetime of work, a lifetime of working your fingers to the bone? … 12-14 Call me “the Quester.” I’ve been king over Israel in Jerusalem. I looked most carefully into everything, searched out all that is done on this earth. And let me tell you, there’s not much to write home about. God hasn’t made it easy for us. I’ve seen it all and it’s nothing but smoke—smoke, and spitting into the wind.

Ecclesiastes 1:1-3 NIV The words of the Teacher, son of David, king in Jerusalem: 2 “Meaningless! Meaningless!” says the Teacher. “Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.” 3 What do people gain from all their labors at which they toil under the sun? … 12 I, the Teacher, was king over Israel in Jerusalem. 13 I applied my mind to study and to explore by wisdom all that is done under the heavens.  What a heavy burden God has laid on mankind! 14 I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

Philippians 3:7-9 MSG The very credentials these people are waving around as something special, I’m tearing up and throwing out with the trash—along with everything else I used to take credit for. And why? Because of Christ. Yes, all the things I once thought were so important are gone from my life. Compared to the high privilege of knowing Christ Jesus as my Master, firsthand, everything I once thought I had going for me is insignificant—dog dung. I’ve dumped it all in the trash so that I could embrace Christ and be embraced by him. I didn’t want some petty, inferior brand of righteousness that comes from keeping a list of rules when I could get the robust kind that comes from trusting Christ—God’s righteousness.

Observation

Ecclesiastes is believed to be the writing of King Solomon (“Questor” or “Teacher”) and represents his philosophical outlook on the world and on life in general toward the end of his life.  He had everything the world could offer in abundance – worldwide renown and respect, wealth, wives, a palace or two, horses and chariots and so on.   He was the wisest man of his time, but he had fallen into the very human trap of allowing his acclaim, pride in his accomplishments, material possessions and his wives to turn his heart away from remembering God’s part in it all.  All that he possessed was suddenly purposeless and meaningless.

He starts Ecclesiastes by stating that all you can gain in this life by your own efforts is “hevel” (smoke, vanity, meaningless).  It is like “Spitting into the wind” or chasing after the wind, which is defined as wasting time doing something totally pointless, fruitless or futile, without substance or value.   For King Solomon, despite his riches and fame, the joy was gone from his heart and all that he possessed and did was hevel.  

On the other hand, then we have Paul, a man who gave up everything – status, power, authority, recognition among his peers – to know and serve Jesus. “Yes, all the things I once thought were so important are gone from my life. Compared to the high privilege of knowing Christ Jesus as my Master, firsthand, everything I once thought I had going for me is insignificant—dog dung.”  Like Solomon, Paul recognized that all earthly accomplishments and acclaim are hevel, but, unlike Solomon, Paul was willing to trade it all in to fulfill God’s will and purpose in his life.  “I’ve dumped it all in the trash so that I could embrace Christ and be embraced by him.”

Impact on Me

So, now I face the uncomfortable question of which of these two do I most resemble?  Am I, like Solomon, chasing after the wind, looking for the praise of my culture, doing what will increase my wealth, status, authority, power over others OR am I willing to be like Paul and submit all I am and have to fulfill God’s will and purpose?  Is knowing and serving Jesus enough for me?  Do I secretly crave the praise and adulation of people or am I willing to let the Holy Spirit be my promoter – setting me where I need to be doing what I need to do at the precise moment God needs me to be obedient regardless of the cost to my reputation, financial position, comfort, perceived abilities?  Am I willing to appear a failure, if necessary, to accomplish God’s will and purpose? 

Jesus was willing to do all these things.  His obedience, His sacrifice, provided us with righteousness that cannot be gained on our own.  “I didn’t want some petty, inferior brand of righteousness that comes from keeping a list of rules when I could get the robust kind that comes from trusting Christ—God’s righteousness.”  Do I trust God enough to give it all?  Lord, I believe.  Help my unbelief!

Prayer

God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, All-Wise, All-Knowing, Gracious and Merciful Father, You know my heart.  I am human, fallible, inconsistent, selfish, unfaithful, but the Holy Spirit lives within me and is working on changing me so I can be more like Jesus.  I pray that You will give me insight, wisdom, knowledge, understanding and strength to believe in You when what You ask me to relinquish seems too hard to do, too much to give up.  May I stand before You on that day and know that I lived a life of substance and purpose in Christ.  May I remember that all I have is Yours and You are the rewarder of the faithful.  I am safe and secure in Your hands.  Make it so, in Jesus’ name.